Rory’s birthdate was set in stone the moment my obgyn told me she was in the 10% for size at 37 weeks. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. They always tell you not to worry but I immediately had to go in for a Non-stress test and then all the emotions sank in and my heart just hurt. She was never crazy active like Zooey was. And for the next 3 weeks we did two NST’s a week to track her movement. I remember at 38 1/2 weeks I started having cramping and what felt like contractions. I got admitted but ultimately discharged because they were too far apart. I then had to start keeping a kick count and that was daunting because she wasn’t very active, like ever.
39 weeks and 5 days came and I just knew she wasn’t going to come willing and the morning of June 20th 2016 I left to the hospital feeling very nervous and somewhat scared of how small she may be. We arrived and checked in and got situated in our room. It came time to start my IV and the nurse was horrible! She couldn’t get the vein (I have amazing veins) and she kept digging into my skin and I don’t like needles to begin with so I’m squeezing Miguels hand for dear life. Well 3 mins go by and she still can’t do it in my forearm. Miguel then looks at me with the whitest face ever and excuses himself to the bathroom to barf lol! I felt horrible and then more nervous! He’s my rock in all of this and I was starting to get worried that the process was going to be horrible. He came out of the bathroom looking a little bit better but still sick. She finally just put it in my hand and I was so thankful.
My midwife came in shortly after and broke my water. I had always heard horror stories but it was easy as pie. My nurse said that after 30 mins of my water breaking I should get up and walk around to speed up the process. So my mom and I roamed the halls and not but 10 mins into walking I was starting to feel the agony of contractions. Miguel finished the walk with me and I just couldn’t bare to be on my feet anymore. I got back into bed and they only got worse.
My in laws arrived and I was in pain! I had said I didn’t care who was in their during this portion because it seemed pretty calm. Well the nurse wanted me to move onto a stool and then rest my arms and head on the bed and that only intensified the pain from contractions. They shortly left to the waiting room and then it was on. I got back into bed and she suggested I try all fours and oh boy did that do the trick!
I went into the whole process not wanting an epidural because I had one with Zooey and wanted to see if I could handle Rory without one. Three hours into laboring I was done. I let the pain overcome me and asked for one asap. Well little to my knowledge I turned over and she checked me and said “it’s time to push.” I don’t think I could wrap my head around what was going on. The pain was excruciating. I started screaming. My midwife came in and not but minutes later I was pushing. I remember seeing my dad in my peripherals and seeing tears. I remember miguel telling me I was going to be ok. And I remember the moment she told me to breathe after two pushes and she was out… my world totally stopped. I was literally having an out of body experience. They laid her down on my chest and I never wanted to let her go. They asked what her name was and I looked over at Miguel and said Rory James. It was a name I never shared with anyone but him and it just fit her perfectly.
She latched like a pro and for one whole hour she was mine. They did her vitals on me and lightly washed her off. I let her nurse the entire time because it just felt so right. They took her to the bed to be weighed and measured and my heart instantly sank because the last we heard she was small for her age. Well, she was 6lbs 12oz and 20 inches long, 3oz and .5 inches bigger than her big sister. All my worries washed away.
Everyone started coming back in to meet her and the moment Zooey walked in I couldn’t wait for her to meet her little sister. She was so happy and I could see in her face how much she instantly loved her.
We only had to stay one night at the hospital and I was so happy because I had to stay three days with Zooey.
I look back and can’t believe it’s already been a year. One of the longest and hardest years of my life but we did it! Through all the bloody murder screaming, endless nights of lost sleep, and countless days of feeling like I was failing as a mom. I know now that Rory is the most frustrated little lady ever, but she is so strong and I can’t wait to see her flourish and thrive in life. As hard as these past 365 days have been, I wouldn’t change them for the world because my girls are the reason for living. They are why I kill myself just to see them smile. I’d be lost without them. And I’m forever grateful that I get to be their mom.
Happy first birthday my Rory girl. Mama loves your bogger butt so much!